#194

I used to hate him, because of how lowly he thinks about a woman's dignity. It's been more than a year and suddenly it occurs to me tonight.

Who the hell am I to judge? I am in no way have any right to hate anyone. Weren't we taught, to hate the sins, but never the sinners?

Narshiela Saad, reflect back on your path of life. It's never perfect, it's just fine. That's why you need to make it better with time.

Quoting Kak Nana, in dakwah, there is no such thing as being static. It's either you move forward, or you fall into futur.

Have it ever occured to you, how lucky you must have been to be handpicked by Allah to be in this path with many others? Allah definitely didn't choose you just to let you freely enter the jannah though. It comes with a price. Jannah is not just for anyone. Jannah comes with a price. What have you done to pay for it? What have you done that gave you the right to be a member of jannah?

One year ago, I might have puked if someone told me he is going to be one of the people mentioned exclusively in my blog. But, today, he is a reason of me being who I think I am. He is a reason for me to reflect back on what have I really done for these past 21 years. He was sent by Allah for me to be if not much, then a bit better than the yesterday me.

#193

Dengan nama Allah.

When it comes to perbuatan2 yang boleh saya kategorikan mampu menambah iman saya dan mendekatkan diri kepada redha Allah, saya cukup tak suka kalau ia menjadi habit. Contoh, usrah. Tiap2 minggu ada usrah and eventually it made me feel like it is a routine, yg nak ke tak nak ke, ikhlas ke tak ikhlas ke, kena attend la, sbb mmg dah peraturannya begitu. Usrah sekali seminggu. 

Bila kita anggap perbuatan itu sebagai rutin, maka lari sudah niat asal. Ikhlas entah ke mana. Nikmat beribadah hilang juga entah ke mana. I used to hold onto this quote, fake it till you make it. True. Sometimes we need to force ourselves to do it, sampai satu masa kita rasa tak kena kalau tak buat. Baguslah kalau jadi macam tu. Takut2 apa yg jadi nanti is, bila benda tu dah jadi habit, kita buat for the sake of kalau tak buat rasa lain macam. Tak ke niat asal dah lari? Sudah. Dilema sekejap. There is a battle within. What is your reason of doing it in the first place? Which bring us back to the bottom. Hadis 1. Niat. 

Nak berniat senang. Tapi nak memastikan kita betul2 berniat lillahi ta'ala tu? -a heavy sigh-