#250 - Talking ABout Myself

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim.

I rarely talk to people about myself, because I'm afraid I might sound narcissistic doing so. But today, I feel like doing exactly that, and my blog will not judge me for talking about myself, right? Hence I think this will be an appropriate place to boast about myself. Hah ha.

So, here it goes:

1. I am a proud Muslim and a trying-to-be proud Malaysian.

2. As of October 2015, I am a 25-year-old female and I am unemployed for almost four months already.

3. I am the last child in the family, something close friends can tell with their eyes closed but something strangers and new acquaintances find surprising.

4. My face is an open book. People can see my mood of the day just by looking at my facial muscles.

5. I am a hardcore pluviophilic. Dancing in the rain is something I do occasionally.

6. My favorite author of all times is Sidney Sheldon. I came to like his novels when I was 14 after reading The Best Laid Plan, a novel my brother bought. And it's a given that my favorite novel is If Tomorrow Comes written by him.

7. I used to love reading and writing. As of now, I wish I could love writing and reading the way I used to, because somehow along my college life, I kind of lost the interest to write and read as much as I did before.

8. Some of my favorite movies are War Horse, The Italian Job, V for Vendetta and The Recruit. Though I'd usually be biased to like anything with Mark Wahlberg and Jeremy Renner in it.

9. I made a pact to myself to not watch movies/dramas adapted from novels that I liked. Examples are the Harry Potter series and the Twilight series. One exception is the adaption of Ketika Cinta Bertasbih by Habiburrahman el-Shirazy.

10. I rarely talk about myself, but it has been a habit since forever to talk to myself everyday. Literally. As if there are two mes and I am giving the other me pep talks.

11. I like sleeping to the point that my friend has to give an anonymous advice for me to cut some sleep.

12. I do not know how to get angry, especially in front of the person I am angry at. My anger is usually expressed as tears while talking and venting to myself.

13. I am involved in usrah, a gathering of a few people where we recite the Quran, being reminded of Allah and talk about current issues among other things. I am loving every second of it and I plan to keep going to usrah as long as I am able to.

14. One of my favorite verses from the holy Quran is 22:78.

15. I love public transports. I'd take efficient public transports any day over any other means of transports. The keyword being efficient.

16. I love hiking even though I am not that physically fit to be hiking. But it is a hobby I am not ready to give up, so I'd keep hiking until I've had enough.

17. I love traveling though I always get stressed planning for it. I have always wanted to go backpacking taking trains across countries, but I need to find a travel buddy first for it. And money. Of course.

18. I used to live in Poland for six years while studying for my medical degree. I love everything about Poland; the people, the transports, the weather, the places. I think Poland might not be the most interesting place to go on holidays, because you need to live in it to fall for it the way I am. Falling. Hard. Not gonna move on anytime soon.

19. I am having a love-hate relationship with caffeine. So far I managed to stop taking in caffeine because we don't have coffee at home. When I feel like rewarding myself with some coffee, I'd go to my grandmother's house, who is also a coffee addict herself. Now I know where I get the gene from.

20. I have a dream I know I will never fulfill because of a story about the stingy Uncle Scrooge I read once during my childhood. 

Okay, I think twenty is enough for now. I might write again about myself whenever I feel like talking about myself. :)

#249 - For One More Day

Bismillahirrahim.

For One More Day. Untuk Sehari Lagi. A birthday present from a good friend of mine four years ago.

Since four years ago, this book was safely kept on the bookshelf in my bedroom. I told myself I would pick it up someday and read it. And that someday turned out to be four years later. I feel guilty, I didn't do the book justice. But however, I finally finished reading it.

My book was actually a translation of its original version. I think I would be able to relate more if it is actually in English, because Bahasa Melayu baku just doesn't seem to par with my interest in fictions. However, despite it being in Malay, it still gave me a good cry. After all, the only thing that is more emotional than a story about you and your mother is a story about you and your father. 

About:

For One More Day was about Chick Benetto meeting her supposedly-deceased mother for one day.

Chick Benetto lived his life without thinking too much about it. One day, he received a letter with a wedding photo of his daughter tucked inside. It gave him a realization that he who was supposed to be walking down the aisle with his daughter was actually denied of that responsibility and no one in the world loved him enough to want him in their life. He then decided to kill himself. 

He drove to Pepperville Beach, thinking that the place where he grew up would be the appropriate place to end his life. However, even after suffering from a few injuries inflicted on himself, he was still alive and able to walk to his old home. 

That was when his mother appeared in front of him and asked him to have a breakfast she was preparing, just like how she used to do everyday when Chick was growing up. Except that the house was long abandoned and her mother has been dead for a while.

My thoughts:

I didn't think much about the book while first reading it. It was my first book from Mitch Albom (and I'm waiting for the arrival of his other book yay) and I didn't have any expectations. However, as I finished reading it, it made me ponder upon my relationship with my mother as well. The one similarity I could relate to Chick is that both our mother passed away, and we are longing for her to be alive and well and talking to us.

I am not as lucky as Chick to be re-living one day with his late mother but I know better that re-living another day with my late mother wouldn't be the thing she would want. She would want me to keep living and move forward while continuously praying for her. And insyaAllah Mak, I'll try to include you in my prayers as long as I am still able to pray. 

The book was everything about the relationship one should have with their mother. Even the tiniest gesture from a mother that we usually overlook has the biggest and warmest meaning. The book told us to show our love to our mother while we still can. Because everyone can love in their own way, but what mothers (and fathers) need, I think, is how we show that we love them. While we are at it, I think we also need to teach ourselves the difference between doing something out of responsibility and doing something out of love. Parents do not need us to be responsible of them as a payback, they need us to show them that we love them the way they love us.

The book was also about second chance. We do not have a mother coming back from the dead to tell us about life, but once in a while, we will encounter hardships, regrets, sorrows. That will be when we have to be forgiving to ourselves. Killing ourselves or drowning in miseries alone or crying to the last drop of tears wouldn't be the solutions. That will be when we have to give ourselves a second chance. Everyone deserves a second chance as long as he is alive.

There was a quote I found somewhere that I made sure to write in my journal as a reminder to myself. It turned out to be a verse from a song that I'd like to share it here today.

"If you are going through hell right now, keep on going." - the song.