#248 A Photo

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim.

Today, my cousin suddenly sent a photo of myself with my childhood friend in our family Whatsapp. I looked really young in it, so I guessed it was before I started primary school.

Saying this might only embarrass myself, but somehow I genuinely think I was cute. *cough* I wore this bright smile, showing off teeth that was damaged due to sweets. It was cute, because just after a few years, I don't think I have ever been smiling like that. I looked genuinely happy, contented with my life at the moment, without worries at all.

If I could give a title to that photo, it would be "the smile I wore when Mom was around". Because childhood photos only reminded me of my late mother. I would think something like, Mom must be there looking at me when I took this photo. And somehow I hated her. We were not that rich to afford a camera during those times, so Mom would go around asking other mothers who had cameras for copies of my pictures. But she never took a picture of herself, never had a decent picture of herself. She only left me eleven years of vague memories. And her face, it sorta fade away from my mind.

She had been thinking only about me. And she forgot that I would want to think about her too.

#247

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim.

We heard the saying, that as we grow older it is better to have less but real friends instead of many but fake ones.

Talking as I am experiencing getting older, it is so true. We might blame it on our job or family matters, but as we grow older, we talk less to people. We choose who to talk to.

However, there is also a saying that says, love can overcome everything. No matter how busy we are, if someone really matters, we will find the time to talk to him/her.

So. When people do not talk to us, I tend to conclude the worst; that we do no matter as much as they matter to us.

And as we are living in a world where the one who loves more is the weaker one, I think we will need to learn to love less. We need to learn to save some love for ourselves, because people can always betray and break you. People can change towards whom they show their loyalty. Because it's human nature.