There is this quote I heard while listening to a mental health podcast about mindset. It goes like this - "If you always do what you have always done, you will always get what you have always gotten."
It sounds cool, so it kinda stuck in me. I am writing right now as a mean to rearrange and reorganize my thoughts because it feels like everything is tangled up inside. And when it becomes so noisy in there, you know what is the one thing that can quieten it? Studying medicine. Wow, indeed. At least to me, who is lazy to learn. When I started voluntarily to study, a red flag pops up in me. It means I am at the verge of something. Of what - I don't know.
I know how people say that healing isn't linear, but sometimes I wonder to myself, do I even heal at all? I must be, if not much maybe a little, but I keep feeling stuck. I started questioning things. Like, I have always planned to be here until I retire, but now..I think I do want to see some progress.
Because I feel stuck. I need to do something different so as not to feel stuck. Routine is good, but sometimes it stops you from healing you know. You can't heal if you are stuck.
I miss those days when I feel fulfilled. Those days when I feel satisfied with whatever is going on. Nowadays, fulfillment feels like a far-fetched word.
Okay, I'm gonna sign out and think of what kind of difference should I make after this. Byebye.
