Saturday, October 18, 2008

..the road not taken..

....assalamualaikum....
nadirah hasanah osman....
hari ni aku rasa lain macam....
dulu,aku pernah gitau kat diri aku, aku tak nak pilih the road not taken...
aku nak hidup besa cam orang lain....
blaja,keja,kawen,and aku nak abdikan hidup aku pada famili aku...
tapi recently aku rasa cam aku dah salah...
dulu,aku taknak ambik medic...
tapi atas desakan famili, minat tu sket2 muncul and akhirnya aku pilih gak utk ke arah tu....
sejak akhir2 ni,1 persoalan slalu muncul kat otak aku...
"have i chosen the road not taken..??"
kdg2,aku nyesal,y not aku trima je dulu offer civil engineering kat utp??
tp dah xda guna aku nyesal skrg kan nad,i've crossed the point of no return...
aku dah pilih satu jalan yg sukar,and reluctantly i've to go through it...
selama ni,aku idamkan kehidupan yg sederhana,sbb aku sedar aku perempuan biasa...
perempuan yg hanya impikan kehidupan sederhana dan hidup bahagia di samping keluarga...
tapi saat ni,aku x nampak masa depan yg aku impikan...
lagi2 aku tak nampak apa yg akan aku kecap, apa yg sedang aku kejar...
aku hilang matlamat sebaik saja aku pilih this road not taken...
honestly,i don't wanna be extraordinary...
i juz wanna be an ordinary gurl who lives her life to the fullest...
is that too much,nad???
i kept thinking the whole morning...
aku tak boleh ubah apa2...
even impression aku,even pemikiran aku wat masa ni...
aku yakin,apa yg aku rsa ni akan terus membelenggu aku sampai tiba satu saat kalau Tuhan izinkan,aku nampak hasil pada usaha aku...well,if any...
so,i came to a decision...
like holly kennedy in ps i love you,i will juz live my life for the time being...
aku nak ikut rentak kehidupan yg dah tertakdir utk aku...
aku akan cuba bertahan till the end,sampai aku rasa "i'm finished!!"
and aku nak terus menyayangi org2 sekeliling aku while i'm still able...
bapak aku,tok,ein,kak nini,abg e,kak ieda,lis,lissa,wa bariah,wa chah,ba am,paksu,maksu,maktih...
including you,nadirah...
a friend who is already more than a friend...
thanks for everything everyone....

Monday, October 13, 2008

...a journey...

my few collections...still ten to go...

"life is like a novel, it's filled with suspense. you have no idea whats going to happen until you turn the page...."-adapted from Otto Schectels's advice to his 17-year-old son,Sidney. Well, personally,i shoul;d thank Otto for his advice. because of him, i am now able to read 18 novels + 1 biograpbhy of my favourite author, Sidney Sheldon. If the old Otto was not at the right place at the right time, young Sidney must had managed to commit suicide.i have juz finished reading The Other Side Of Me, a story of his own life, made into a 440-pages novel. And i couldnt stop myself from admiring him. i love all his books, and i felt so special to go back through time for his adventures of life. i felt closer to him, and i wished i could tell him this.

i was first introduced to him when i read The Best Laid Plans and i immediately fell in luv with it. A story of love,power and revenge of William Russell and Leslie Stewart. i met Dana Evans in it, which happened to be one of my most admiring characters. i read Rage Of Angels then, and i was stunned by Jennifer Parker's determination. How can a woman be as tough as her?? The third is Bloodline, again, it was a story of a young woman, Liz Roffe, being dragged into a full-of-disguise world when his beloved father accidentally died. i fell in luv with this one too, Sheldon's descriptions of everything were juz so great! Then, it was If Tomorrow Comes...the one that i luv most, the one that i could say influenced me most. As if it was Sheldon's trademark, most of his novels were lead by women characters, so was this one. AND this time, it was Tracy Whitney, about her courage, her determination, her hard works to be tough to the world that has been tough to her. its not until after about a year that i found out, one of the incident that happened to Tracy in the novel was a real incident in Sheldon's life.

i read Are You Afraid Of The Dark? after that, life of two widows, Kelly Harris and Diane Stevens, being hunted after their husbands' mysterious deaths. Tell Me Your Dreams introduced me to a psychological disease called multiple personality disorder, where there are alters exist in a host. Nothing Lasts Forever was also my favourite, coz its about medical life! (excited reading this one, dreaming already i've belonged to that world...haha). It was about 3 doctors who were also friends but facing different experiences and fates; Paige Taylor, Kat Hunter and Honey Taft. The Other Side Of Midnight is the next, a story of.....well,can i say a square love??? Regarding 4 persons, Constantin Demiris-who loves Noelle, Noelle Paige-who loves Larry, Catherine Alexander-who also loves Larry and Larry Douglas-who loves women!!! Memories Of Midnight was a continuation of TOSOM, but focussed on Demiris's and Catherine's life.

The Naked Face is Shelson's first novel, about Judd, a psychiatrist whom someone anonymously was trying to murder. i read A Stranger In The Mirror then; sorry to say but among all his books, i took the longest to finish this one and its hard to admit that i quite disliked this one...haha....its about Toby Temple who was a world-famous comedian and his wife, Jill Castle that kept a painful secret. Master Of The Games was also among the best, i reckon...but i could hardly recall the names of the characters, except for the leading one, Kate Blackwell. a story of 4 generations (if i'm not mistaken) of Blackwell's family. Windmills Of The Gods again focussed on the courage of a woman, Mary Ashley who was being sent to Romania as the US ambassador. The Sands Of Time was one of my favourite too, about 4 nuns-Megan, Theresa, Graciella and Lucia and their thrilled experience with Jaime Miro, a so-called terrorist in Madrid.

Then is The Doomsday Conspiracy, i couldn't wait to read this one at first coz its one of the first books being recommended by Kucai!!(^_^)
it turned out to be satisfactory, but i could say this novel ran a little bit from Sheldon's trademark. its about Robert Bellamy who was ordered to investigate on a crashed UFO, juz to find out at the end that his investigations led to a serial murder and he was also on the list! The Stars Shine Down introduced me to Lara Cameron, who enslaved her life only to her career. i have also forgotten the characters in Morning, Noon And Night except for Harry Stanford. it was a story of the cold war of stanford's sons and daughters to inherit his million-worth wealth. The last one is The Sky Is Falling. remember i mentioned earlier about Dana Evans?? she appeared again in this one, investigating a murder case as a young capable reporter.


wow, thats a lot i've written this time!!!haha....Thank you, Sidney Sheldon for all your novels. Thank you for creating Dana Evans; from her i got the courage to always stand strong for what we believe even if the world was against us. Thank you too for your Tracy Whitney; from her i learnt that there's always a bright and beautiful dawn after a dark night. Thank you again for introducing me to Paige Taylor; which realised me that meaningful life is not juz about starting a whole new thing, but its also about having the guts to face an ending. You also introduced me to many parts of the world, i could say that i appreciated atlas more after reading your books. Now i know where are Bucharest, Kiev, Sarajevo, Sardinia erc....i seemed an idiot right now writing this but its all true!!! Most of all, thank you so much for your memorable stories that i'm definitely sure will be long-remembered...


...THANK YOU MR SIDNEY SHELDON...