Thursday, August 25, 2011

August 25th 2011

Dengan nama Allah yang Maha Pemurah dan Maha Mengasihani.


Hari ni 25 Ogos 2011. Hujan dari tengah malam semalam baru berhenti dalam pukul 9 pagi. Hari pertama aku sebagai manusia berusia 21 tahun di atas muka bumi. Bersyukur sebab yang menemani aku sejak semalam adalah rahmat Allah, hujan.


Hari ni jugak 25 Ramadhan 1432. Dah tak berapa hari je lagi nak raya. Walaupun hari raya tu dikatakan hari kemenangan buat umat Islam, tapi sewajarnya kita rasa sedih untuk meninggalkan Ramadhan kan? Apa sangat amal kita bulan ni? Cukup kuat ke kita menahan nafsu, ke kalah jugak dengan nafsu saat berbuka puasa?


A few friends texted me last night, mengucapkan sanah helwah, happy birthday dan selamat hari lahir. Mendoakan semoga aku dipanjangkan umur dan dimurahkan rezeki. Facebook aku pula sepi buat masa ni, tak dibanjiri dengan ucapan2 hari lahir seperti tahun lepas. Sesungguhnya aku tak harap untuk didoakan agar usia dipanjangkan dan rezeki dimurahkan hanya pada hari ini. Namun doakanlah aku pada setiap kali kalian mengangkat tangan memohon kepada Allah.


Oh, and this.





Done by a close friend of mine, Shiela May Baylon from Philippines. I knew her due to my crazy addiction to Korean singers. Thank you sweetheart. ^^ I almost cried when I first received this. She, whom I called a Cinderella because she usually goes to bed at 12, stayed up late just to do this. I was touched, Twinnie. I love you.


Hari lahir tahun Masihi dah akan berlalu. Sekarang nak tunggu hari lahir tahun Hijrah pulak. 3 Safar 1433. Hehe. Kalau ikut tahun Hijrah, aku lahir pada tahun yg sama dengan Fadh, dan sebab tu Fadh tak nak terima kenyataan untuk ikut tahun Hijrah. Nanti kalau dah UA (insyaAllah pasti akan tiba satu hari nanti), takkan nak ikut tahun Masihi lagi kan Fadh? Hehe.


Hm, dah bertahun-tahun jugak aku raya tanpa baju baru. Dulu, lepas Mak meninggal, tiap2 tahun aku ada baju raya baru. Sebab tiap2 tahun mesti ada orang belikan kain untuk buat baju kurung. Tapi dah besar ni macam tak kisah ada ke tak baju raya baru. Baju kurung yang dalam almari tu pun tak terpakai, walhal semuanya masih padan elok lagi. Tak apa. Aku raya bukan sebab nak pakai baju baru. Dan bukan hari raya yang aku paling nanti-nantikan. Aku lebih menantikan hari aku bakal berangkat balik ke Poland.


“Dan katakanlah, ya Tuhanku, masukkan aku ke tempat masuk yang benar dan keluarkan aku ke tempat keluar yang benar dan berikanlah kepadaku dari sisi-Mu kekuasaan yang dapat menolong.”- 17:80


“Say: "O my Lord! Let my entry be by the Gate of Truth and Honour, and likewise my exit by the Gate of Truth and Honour; and grant me from Thy Presence an authority to aid (me)."”

A Confession..

This was written on August 22nd 2011..

There was a girl. She treasured friendship so much. She loves her friends, but she wasn’t a simple girl who could easily express what she truly felt. When she loves someone, she loves that person with all that she has. She wanted to appreciate everyone around her. But, though how many times she wanted to change for the better, somehow she was still the emotional and egoistic brat.


One fine day, she went to meet her friend. There were these two friends that she loved so much. When she went to meet one of them, she asked the other to tag along as well. For her, there was nothing happier than being able to spend time with those two friends that she treasured so much. She planned everything perfectly with them. She wanted to spend the weekend together.


However, being a forgetful person as she was, she forgot that no matter how we humans planned things, there was always a greater power with a bigger plan. She totally forgot that. When things did not go as planned, she failed to calm down. Instead, she blamed it on others. Things got worse. Not that the plan was ruined, but she also initiated a fight with that friend of hers. Because of her action, she caused more people to get hurt.


She cried her heart out, hoping to turn back time, so that she could mend everything, so that she wouldn’t be as foolish as she was before, so that she wouldn’t act as bitchy. But, this was what God wanted her to learn. Things never went wrong, they just went in a way that we never expected them to be.


Allah has always been the best planner. Allah might not give us what we wanted, but Allah would always give us what’s best for us.


“No misfortune can happen on earth or in your souls but is recorded in a decree before We bring it into existence: That is truly easy for Allah. In order that ye may not despair over matters that pass you by, nor exult over favours bestowed upon you. For Allah loveth not any vainglorious boaster,” -57:22,23


Translation:


“Setiap bencana yang menimpa di bumi dan yang menimpa dirimu sendiri, semuanya telah tertulis dalam kitab sebelum Kami mewujudkannya. Sungguh, yang demikian itu mudah bagi Allah. Agar kamu tidak bersedih hati terhadap apa yang luput dari kamu, dan tidak pula terlalu gembira terhadap apa yang diberikan-Nya kepadamu. Dan Allah tidak menyukai setiap orang yang sombong dan membanggakan diri,” -57:22,23

Zatil, I am sorry that you had to put up with the emotional and egoistic me. I didn’t regret things that had happened, because it happened for a reason. We might not be able to see what the reason is, but there definitely is a reason. Thank you for your hospitality, I’ve put you in so much trouble during the 3 days I was there. I’m sorry for that.


Husna and Ain, I am sorry. Because of me, both of you were dragged along as well. I haven’t met you guys for quite a while, and when we finally met, I was being such a bitch. :( I am so sorry. I hope there will be a next time, where we will see each other, so that I could make up for those. I am so sorry.


Wani, we were always terasa with each other. But never, did it happen when we were facing each other. This was the first time. I am sorry. I am never a good friend huh? I wasn’t understanding. I hurt your feelings. I am so sorry. To me, you are still Irfan Hakimi. I love you.

This Narshiela Saad is never good in begging for forgiveness face-to-face. Instead of saying sorry, she might just end up crying for three days and three nights. And that’s why she decided to write. Every word, came from my heart. I sincerely apologise. I wanted to hug Ain, when I saw her that day, for it’s been years since I last saw her. Though younger than me, I saw a sister in Husna, being matured and rational in handling the situation. I was scared that Zatil might end up being emotional like me and scolded me, instead she was being patient with me. Now I know that I am the crybaby among us ^^ And Wani, if only she came into the room and hugged me at that very moment. I don’t need an apology from you, I need a hug. :(