A Confession..

This was written on August 22nd 2011..

There was a girl. She treasured friendship so much. She loves her friends, but she wasn’t a simple girl who could easily express what she truly felt. When she loves someone, she loves that person with all that she has. She wanted to appreciate everyone around her. But, though how many times she wanted to change for the better, somehow she was still the emotional and egoistic brat.

One fine day, she went to meet her friend. There were these two friends that she loved so much. When she went to meet one of them, she asked the other to tag along as well. For her, there was nothing happier than being able to spend time with those two friends that she treasured so much. She planned everything perfectly with them. She wanted to spend the weekend together.

However, being a forgetful person as she was, she forgot that no matter how we humans planned things, there was always a greater power with a bigger plan. She totally forgot that. When things did not go as planned, she failed to calm down. Instead, she blamed it on others. Things got worse. Not that the plan was ruined, but she also initiated a fight with that friend of hers. Because of her action, she caused more people to get hurt.

She cried her heart out, hoping to turn back time, so that she could mend everything, so that she wouldn’t be as foolish as she was before, so that she wouldn’t act as bitchy. But, this was what God wanted her to learn. Things never went wrong, they just went in a way that we never expected them to be.

Allah has always been the best planner. Allah might not give us what we wanted, but Allah would always give us what’s best for us.

“No misfortune can happen on earth or in your souls but is recorded in a decree before We bring it into existence: That is truly easy for Allah. In order that ye may not despair over matters that pass you by, nor exult over favours bestowed upon you. For Allah loveth not any vainglorious boaster,” -57:22,23

Translation:

“Setiap bencana yang menimpa di bumi dan yang menimpa dirimu sendiri, semuanya telah tertulis dalam kitab sebelum Kami mewujudkannya. Sungguh, yang demikian itu mudah bagi Allah. Agar kamu tidak bersedih hati terhadap apa yang luput dari kamu, dan tidak pula terlalu gembira terhadap apa yang diberikan-Nya kepadamu. Dan Allah tidak menyukai setiap orang yang sombong dan membanggakan diri,” -57:22,23

Zatil, I am sorry that you had to put up with the emotional and egoistic me. I didn’t regret things that had happened, because it happened for a reason. We might not be able to see what the reason is, but there definitely is a reason. Thank you for your hospitality, I’ve put you in so much trouble during the 3 days I was there. I’m sorry for that.

Husna and Ain, I am sorry. Because of me, both of you were dragged along as well. I haven’t met you guys for quite a while, and when we finally met, I was being such a bitch. :( I am so sorry. I hope there will be a next time, where we will see each other, so that I could make up for those. I am so sorry.

Wani, we were always terasa with each other. But never, did it happen when we were facing each other. This was the first time. I am sorry. I am never a good friend huh? I wasn’t understanding. I hurt your feelings. I am so sorry. To me, you are still Irfan Hakimi. I love you.

This Narshiela Saad is never good in begging for forgiveness face-to-face. Instead of saying sorry, she might just end up crying for three days and three nights. And that’s why she decided to write. Every word, came from my heart. I sincerely apologise. I wanted to hug Ain, when I saw her that day, for it’s been years since I last saw her. Though younger than me, I saw a sister in Husna, being matured and rational in handling the situation. I was scared that Zatil might end up being emotional like me and scolded me, instead she was being patient with me. Now I know that I am the crybaby among us ^^ And Wani, if only she came into the room and hugged me at that very moment. I don’t need an apology from you, I need a hug. :(