#191-It Happens, Somehow.

Dengan nama Allah yang Maha Pemurah dan Maha Mengasihani.


I, actually wasn't planning of writing a new entry tonight, and not even this week. This week is a busy week, which is enough to cause me depression, and suppress me from talking to anyone for two consecutive days. But somehow, what is happening to me right now is something I couldn't just let go. I need to write about it here, and so in the future I'd be able to remember what a magical day I've been experiencing today. ^_^

I had an mp3, bought in 2008, got broken in 2010. Since almost two years ago, I kept it in a box, not having the heart to throw it away. In 2011, I bought an mp4, and I've been using the mp4 ever since. And somehow today, my mp4 got broken. Feeling devastated, while asking to myself on why does it have to happen today; Allah gave me the ilham to look for my old mp3 and magically, unlike 2 years ago, it works perfectly fine as if it never gets broken before!

mp4 dan mp3 bertuah. Retak dan calar merata-rata. Nasib la hidup dengan Narshiela Saad kan ^^

Hm, tak rasa it's magical enough? Shall I add some more? :D Al-Quran itu ada 30 juzu', 114 surah dan 6666 ayat. And somehow, Allah menetapkan bahawa hari ini adalah hari untuk saya tadabur surah al-fajr, surah ke-89. Bayangkan situasi ini. Just a few hours ago, saya hampir menangis mengenangkan mp4 yg rosak, lalu saya spontan terfikir; saat saya berniat untuk menggunakan mp4 itu untuk mencari redha Allah, Allah nampaknya tidak mahu mengizinkan.


Lalu beberapa jam kemudian, jawapan Allah terzahir melalui surah al-fajr. Kata Allah;

"dan kamu mencintai harta dengan kecintaan yang berlebihan." -89:20

Reaksi saya? Kelu tentunya. Tanpa kata-kata. Mungkin Allah mahu menegur, kecintaan saya terhadap harta saya itu melebihi kecintaan saya terhadap redha Allah. Lalu mana mungkin Allah mahu membiarkan saya tertipu dengan alasan mahu mencari redha. Allah mahu saya belajar menyucikan niat, dan belajar erti ikhlas yg 100%.

Dan Allah itu yang kita tahu maha penyayang sifatnya mana mungkin membiarkan saya termangu-mangu sendirian memikirkan salah sendiri setelah ditegur. Allah pandai memujuk. :D Kata Allah lagi;

"Wahai jiwa yang tenang! Kembalilah kepada Tuhanmu dengan hati yang redha dan diredhai-Nya." -89:27,28

Dan hamba mana yang tidak akan terpujuk sebegitu? Istighfar. Ada kalanya kita khilaf, dan ada kalanya kita sendiri juga terlepas pandang akan kekhilafan itu, namun ada kuasa yang lebih besar yang maha melihat, lalu kuasa itu menegur dengan cara paling halus namun paling menyentuh hati. Keajaiban yang pasti dirasai mereka yang tekun mencari Dia. It happens, somehow. Don't settle for "kebetulan je ni", instead go for "subhanallah cantiknya aturan Dia". :)

#190-Erti Syukur

Dengan nama Allah yang Maha Pemurah dan Maha Mengasihani.


Situasi 1:
Nona: Jamilah, awak cantiklah hari ni.
Jamilah: (sambil tersenyum) Alhamdulillah.


Apakah agak2 reaksi yang bakal ditunjukkan oleh Nona kemudiannya? Hm, satu situasi yang diutarakan Fadh masa usrah hari tu. Situasi yang kemungkinan menampilkan dua reaksi berbeza si tukang yang memuji, dan yang membezakan hanyalah sama ada kalimah alhamdulillah itu betul2 difahami maksudnya atau tak. Ayat dah berbelit-belit. Ampun. :)


Tergerak untuk menulis tentang syukur saat saya selesa di Poland yang suhunya sudah menurun ke -6 celcius hari ini, bukan lagi suhu mencecah -26 degree. Poland sekarang lebat dengan salji, bukan lagi disinari cahaya matahari yang membeku. Dan saya rasa saya tahu kenapa Allah memberi satu pengalaman winter yang belum pernah lagi saya alami sebelum2 ini. Allah mahu saya menghargai salji mungkin. 

Saban tahun mulut saya ringan sahaja dengan rungutan yang pelbagai saat salji turun menyiram bumi. Sejuk. Beku. Licin. Kotor. Dan saya juga ringan menuturkan pada kawan2 di Malaysia, "salji ni best untuk first timer je, lepas2 tu kalau takde salji dah pun takpe. sejuk." Kata2 angkuh. Bongkak.


Allah kemudian memberikan saya musim sejuk tanpa salji. Cahaya mentari sepanjang hari, tanpa ada seketul pun salji jatuh ke bumi. Dan musim sejuk tanpa salji itu adalah musim sejuk paling dingin untuk saya buat masa ini. Menggigil sepanjang masa walaupun tubuh dibaluti selimut tebal. Bilik yang dipanaskan heater juga seakan tiada kesan.


Dan saat Allah mendatangkan salji yang turun lebat kemudiannya, buat pertama kali saya menghargai dan mensyukuri kedatangan salji. Walaupun salji tebal menutupi jalan, cuaca tidaklah beku seperti dulu. Alhamdulillah. Segala puji bagi Allah. Untuk setiap apa yang berlaku, Allah mengaturkan sebegitu kerana itu adalah yang terbaik untuk mendekatkan kita kepada syurga dan redha-Nya. Hari ini dan seterusnya insyaAllah, saya adalah penggemar salji. ^_^

"Sedangkan kaum 'Ad, mereka telah dibinasakan dengan angin taufan yang sangat dingin, Allah menimpakan angin itu kepada mereka selama tujuh malam lapan hari terus-menerus; maka kamu melihat kaum 'Ad pada waktu itu mati bergelimpangan seperti batang2 pohon kurma yang telah kosong. Maka adakah kamu melihat seorang pun yang masih tersisa di antara mereka?" -69:6-8

#189-a thing called EGO

In the name of Allah the Most Gracious and the Most Merciful.

I dislike myself for not updating my blog that often. Whenever I started writing, there is always something to say. But somehow that temptation, the drive that made me wanna write has been long gone. Maybe it's running away since Poland has been extraordinarily cold nowadays. Something to do with the global warming, I suppose but I'd be satisfied to just settle for 'kunfayakun'. Allah wants it to be this way; the snowless, sunny all day long but way too freezing.

Hm, ego isn't good, is it? But everyone has an ego, the difference is whether it is high or low, whether it is tolerable or non. Ego isn't a character of our beloved Rasulullah saw, which means we shouldn't be proud to be ego. Ego is actually a character of shaitan, which the very reason why they were taken out of jannah. Shaitan were taken out of jannah because they were ego.

Ego is a latin word, which bears the meaning of 'I'. Based on my own personal opinion, I'd say the opposite of ego is 'not I'. It somehow makes sense, we become an egoistic person whenever we feel like we are the true, superior one. We want people to acknowledge us, that is an ego. We want us to be right and others to be wrong, that is ego.

And whenever we think of people more than we think of ourselves, we overcome our ego; little by little. The highest level of ukhwah, is when one is able to sacrifice everything, even his/her own life for his/her sahabat. But still, let's not go that deep. We don't sacrifice our life for our sahabat everyday. We do not encounter a situation of life and death everyday. So let's choose a more friendlier situation then. :)

Two situations happened to me today. One, where it needed me to sacrifice a favourite treasure of mine. And the only thing I could remember was Pidah's words months ago;

"Kalau kita sayang barang tu, kita kena bagi kat orang yang kita sayang." (her words weren't exactly like this, but somehow the meanings are similar)

This is a situation we encounter, if not always then sometimes in our life. Two sets of KFC, will we choose the less tasty part and give our friend the more yummy and crispy part? Two bowls of rice, will we choose the one with less soup and give our friend the one with more soup? And what will we think if a friend asks us to give her a treat? Will we say, "alah hari tu aku dah belanja ko" or will we say "sori weh, aku tengah takde duit la" or will we say "ok tapi nanti ko pulak belanja aku eh" or will we say "anytime utk sahabat yg aku sayang"??

When it comes to money, we people tend to get stingy at times. But do we know that the only money that is ours are the one that we spend fisabilillah, sincerely? How much do we spend every year for charity, for sadaqah, for the Palestinians maybe?

The second situation is, the ego that is just as difficult to handle. Sacrificing our feelings. I was known, (maybe am still known) as someone who treasures friendship so much. The more I treasure friendship, the more Allah tested me, the more hardships I faced which I believed was given by Allah to purify my intention in making friends. Was the friendship based on Allah or was it not?

I fought with my friends sometimes. We hurt each other. When one got hurt, the other will hurt as well. Ordinary people will not talk to each other afterwards, because they are defending their ego. "I will not talk to her unless she talks to me first!" A more extraordinary people will also choose to be in silent, until they are able to calm down, reflect on their own mistakes and are able to talk without being controlled by the emotion. But the most extraordinary one are those that are able to sacrifice the pain they feel inside, and immediately mend the situation. They are hurt, but they know the more they think about the pain, the worse their relationship will be. So they choose to become a 'not I' person, and prioritize others more than 'I'.

I have ego as well. And I don't like it. Ego is a barrier which I have to overcome to accomplish the so-called 'i love you fillah' relationship. When I love you because of Allah, nothing matters than Allah's pleasure and acceptance. When I love you because of Allah, who cares if I get hurt as long as our relationship is still the same. Because I love you fillah. Only when I don't love Allah anymore will our friendship end.

I wrote a looong entry again, when I thought I have nothing to say.