Wow, hate to say this to myself, but see how hangat-hangat tahi ayam I was? I posted 5 entries from February to April then I disappeared for a total of 2 months. Typical me. I always had difficulties in finishing what I started.
Tinesh used to say that I kept downgrading and badmouthing myself. Take this for example, I kind of had an excessive weight gain during my 3 years in Bintulu, so when I returned to Perlis, I was self-conscious that people will start commenting about my weight gain. So before people do exactly that and make me feel bad, I do that to myself first. Before people say "hey you seemed to have gained weight", I would first say "I have gained some weights for the past 3 years right?".
I feel like it is some kind of defense mechanism, I don't want people to say things that might hurt me, so why not I say it first? I don't feel as hurt if I said it first so I think that's okay. But today when Tinesh pointed out that I have been downgrading myself, I wondered whether it is a good thing to do?
Okay I can't write a lot. I am in the middle of finishing my slide presentations when I just needed to distract myself for a while from it. This is an unplanned blog post with no meanings whatsoever except that I hated that I haven't been writing consistently for the past 2 months.
I'll be back. Sooner? Later? Not sure. Whenever I feel like it I guess.
If anyone happens to read this, I hope you have a good day. :)
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