#268

Okay this is a spur of the moment post, which will likely be just me rambling nonsense until I feel like there's so much nonsense that I should stop.

I am in the middle of trying to force myself to focus on doing intellectual and productive works. But just how I always am, I yawn within the first 10 minutes. 5 hours has passed, now nearing 6 hours, and I am still forcing myself, which somehow hasn't shown any positive progress.

I am in the middle of the bridge - contemplating whether I should just say to hell with it and pack and go home and sleep or forcing myself somemore so that I will not be a disappointment to my future self. My future self, as in myself next week who would be regretting not finishing my works earlier and procrastinating until the last minute.

Right now, whatever I have been reading seems like a lullaby, nothing goes into my head, they only pass from one eye to another. I'm a disappointment. T_T

I wish people will text me and distract me from focusing on being a disappointment, but I guess everyone wants me to be disappointed. T_T

Okay bye. This is not the real me. This is the me in this moment.