you are 19!

happy birthday to you~
happy birthday to you~
happy birthday to shiela~
happy birthday to you~

uh-huh...it's 25th of august,it's 4th of ramadhan and it's my birthday...
it's been exactly 19 years i've celebrated this day, though kecik2 dulu xde makna apa pun hari ni...eheh...
and of all the 19 birthdays i've been through,some touched my heart so deeply that i could never forget forever-except if i'm going to be diagnosed with alzheimer ke amnesia ke satu ari nanti lah kan...(mintak jauh!!)

the one yg paling lama i could remember-i've already forgotten what year it was, but the detail was still fresh laa...the one yang i kept nagging to beloved,late mother;-
"knape orang lain bila sambut birthday buat jamuan semua??kita tak buat apa2 pun??"
and of course la now i knew why,but as for mom,maybe aku dah hurt her feelings kan by saying that...gosh,if only i could say sorry again to you~ and to make up for that,she bought two packs of koew teow,goreng the koew teow,and we-me,daddy,mom and abang-ate together..as for the still small shiela, it satisfied me enough...and mom gave me a cute alarm clock,shaped like a penguin wearing that convo hat and she said;-
"nanti adik jadi pandai macam penguin ni.."
and i broke that alarm in 2003,jatuh dari katil double decker kt andeka..huhu~

since then, i could never really remember my birthday being celebrated in a way it should be celebrated...kat sekolah rendah,usually kawan2 akan hadiahkan pensil ke,pemadam ke,buku memo ke-that sort of things la-tp dapat tu mmg hepi gile!! then on my 9th birthday,kat kelas 3 anggerik,gile pagi in the morning lah,i got the first birthday present that i could never forget; a yellow music box yg ada gambar pikachu..from naimah..ada lagi smpai sekarang though dah bertaun bateri abes...thanks ye naimah,so sorry to have lost contact with you...

then 2004..kat Jenan ada the culture kena taboh time birthday...tapi aku tak penah kena,sbb my birthdays were always on holidays...haihh...that year,dgn abg pegi rumah abg E,sbb every members of the family was there,kakak baru lepas convo...and they gave me a surprise birthday party...abg bagi buku harry potter (initiated my minat to the series,thanks abg!),lis bg bekas letak pensil,lissa bg pencil box,kak ninie bg bekas letak pensil jugak,mak wan bagi baju,abg E and kak ida sponsor kek,kfc,pizza and kasi rm200...

2006...still,my birthday fell on a holiday...but this time, i attended the nadwah kepimpinan islam kat Jets with asiah,zatil,yan,ustzh salwana and 4 boys. and for the first time, thanks to idea jahat asiah, i was being taboh dekat Jets, komplot antara 3 sekolah; Jenan,Jets and Saina...haih...head and face fulled of bedak, dorang pakaikan lagi aku dgn karpet and penyapu and they took pics of me! mmg sejibik cam the wicked witch lah masa tu...and coming back to Jenan, asiah,zatil and yan baked me a chocholate cake dekat dm...(nasib yan ajk makanan,dpt guna dapur kan..) thanks buddies,though thanks is just never enough to show how those days really mean to me...

2008...first birthday ouf of JENAN, it was Monday,hm puasa sunat lahh...syukur,sempat jugak reach 18..dekat kelas,they sang me lagu birthday, and balik umah lepak kejap bilik alyaa,dolly and ell...smpai laa azan maghrib,teguk air sket and still lepak situ...dolly,kite watpe eh??xingat daa...and suddenly,the light went out,and there was a cake with candles,and my seven housemates...owh,terharu x terkata la time tu,mcm dolly ckp, time tu bukan mesra mana lagi pun...but you all did remember!! thanks sgt2!!

and this year,the 19th one...two days before, i dreamt a dream..that i forgot my own birthday,and everyone else forgot too,and i just remembered the next day,and it was too late,and i was like...dissapointed gile..because of that,i did not really expect la anyone to wish me today..but then the first wish came as early as 11:54pm..and wishes kept coming in dkat skrin handphone and laptop...thanks ye,to those who remember...yg sms; Jimah Idah Adlee Asiah Wanie Dolly As Abang Aina Mira Alyaa Zatil Nada Kharique Shihan Sue Suhaila Dieba Fadhila Kak Lin & Kak Fadzilah... yg call; Ya Fizah Azhani... yg wish kat friendster and facebook; Fadz A'in Husna Kamarul Shafiq Shafiq again (shasha) Amar Afiq Nasir Noliy Eddie Bob Lenn Murni Azwan Cikgu Pe'ah Apple & Eha...

and pasal wish dari Kharique...one guy yg dah lama x contact, 2 months?or more?and he didn't even know my birthday...and he said,hati dia tergerak nak sms hari ni,dia ckp dia rasa bersalah sbb lama x contact,and i was like...whoaa,why today??ko mcm tau2 je hari ni besday aku!! and he was like...erk??yeke???sumpa aku tak tau...huhu...
and maybe this one kot yg plg terharu...hee~

and waiting....waiting....waiting....wishes from Kirah,Suhaimi,Najmi and Mashi...korang x ingat ke???haha...

and nak sentuh jugak pasal esok...it's going to be 26th August and 5th Ramadhan...so much of a kebetulan lah...haih...

tagging time...

owh,i took this from cu_ai's...not that she tagged me,but i'm tagging myself lorh...no idea what to do,so ok la menjawab tag2 ni pun kan...huhu

FOUR NAMES THAT FRIENDS CALL YOU :
>shiela
>lili (lala je yg call aku this)
>alang (adik je yg call aku this)
>shield (sometimes dorang tmbh -tox kt blkg...haih)

FOUR MOST IMPORTANT DATES IN YOUR LIFE :
>25-08-1990 (1 day to go to be 19!!)
>18-07-1945 (daddy's)
>21-11-2001 (1st time ****, mom passed away~)
>08-01-2003 (entering a place i could never forget!)

FOUR THINGS YOU'VE DONE IN THE LAST 30 MINUTES:
>sms-ing dgn wanie,elly,are-ry
>facebooking dgn shapik,wanie,zatil
>chatting dgn husna
>blogging alone

FOUR WAYS TO BE HAPPY :
>optimist
>faith
>tough
>love

FOUR PEOPLE YOU MISS FROM YOUR PAST :
>mother
>nadirah hasanah
>amirah
>*i'd like to keep this a secret*=p

FOUR GIFTS YOU WOULD LIKE TO RECEIVE:
>nak laptop bole???
>em,handphone 3G yg ada cybershot??
>sneakers please..
>nak org yg curi my Olympus dg cam bagi balik the cam to me..uh-huh

FOUR OF YOUR FAVORITE HOBBIES :
>internet-ing...hahah
>reading...(currently tgh baca Iskandar bukan Zulkarnain, The Other Side Of Mahathir, Sidney Sheldon's Mistress Of The Game)
>listening to my mp3 (owh,i love pachebel canon!)
>tido laa...my fav of all time nih..

FOUR PLACES OR COUNTRY YOU WANT TO GO FOR VACATION :
>mekah boleh??umrah ke jadi laa..
>pantai...nk grant a wish i'm not yet able to do~
>teringin nak pegi nz..(xtiru cu-ai ea,lahir dari hati yg tulus..he)
>dok umah je..vacation foc..haha

FOUR FAVOURITE DRINKS :
>air kosong...gulp
>air mineral spritzer
>teh bunga yeo's
>watermelon juice...

FOUR THINGS ALWAYS FOUND IN YOUR BAG/HANDBAG :
>of course la purse
>then handset kena ada..
>mp3 pun wajib
>pen at least 1..

FOUR FAVOURITE COLORS :
>blue
>black
>blue black (ahaha)
>as long as it's light,i'm ok with it..

TOP FOUR HANGOUTS :
>atas tilam...
>depan laptop...
>kedai buku smart (wat masa ni lah)
>depan tv

TOP FOUR U LOVE SO MUCH :
>daddy
>family
>revo
>E1313

TOP FOUR "THINGS" SPECIAL TO YOU :
>feeling of being loved and to love
>feeling of being needed and to need
>feeling of being appreciated and to appreciate
>feeling of joy and laughters

TOP FOUR WHO YOU WILL TAG:
>anyone will do...sorry,tak cukup 4~

home alone~

just reached home...from kampung baru,then klcc,then kl sentral,and finally balik ke rumah sunyi ni balik...thanks kepada yg dtg tadi,even xramai mcm last year...and to yg xdtg..don't worry,there will be next time,aite??i did enjoy myself (i tried to), at least dapat mkn tomyam...hee~

kepala serabut sikit...regarding lodz ni laa...ntah bila baru nk cnfem...haih...letih dah..btul laa shida ckp,dah mcm bola dah skang ni...redha je org nk pass mana pun,kena tendang ke apa..
and sedih betul terpisah dgn shida,aku sayang ko tau x...

and the only thing that cheers me up right now-pachebel canon in D-minor...

farah,aku doa yg terbaik utk ko ye...gonna miss u like hell laa..

saya cuti!!!hee

owh...heavennya rasa..haha...

bukan slalu aku dpt cuti and dpt gak stay kat umah jadik budak pemalas balik...

slalunya keja,kalo pun cuti ada je hal kena setel...medical checkup la ntah hape2 lagik...

tp ari ni mmg plan nk dok je kt umah tanak watpe...ngee~

dari pagi layan tv and tenet je...

swonoknya laa enjoy begini...eheh...

time2 gini laa baru kita nk hargai masa senang,kan???

tu je nk ckp sbnanya...hee...

p/s=rindu perlis..=P

fuh...penat2,hopefully ari ni last day berkejar2 keliling shah alam...hee...da xlarat dah nk naik turun sgala tpt...but bkn pasal kepenatan aku yg nk dihighlight kt sini...juz satu mnda je nk share...eheh...spnjg usaha praktis utk amazing race tu,dah mcm2 jbtn krjn n bdn swasta aku pegi...n blh kata suma tpt tu,one of dorang punya piagam,senyum terhadap customer-konon customer friendly la lbey kurang kan-
tp even piagam sama,aku dpt tgk perbezaan antara 2 tpt ni; jbtn kerajaan A and jbtn kerajaan B...aku pegi jbtn A dulu...tungu punya tungu turn akhirnya smpai la giliran aku...aku pun dgn kalatnya pegi kt kaunter,letak sgala borang kt tgn ats kaunter...and org kt kaunter tu mtk ic aku...tp maklum la,aku ni pekak and blur sket,aku ingt dy mtk slnn ic...
so aku pun ckp,"cik,sy dah bg dah rasanya,sekali dgn borg tu..."
and dia pun bls,(dgn suara yg agk tensen kot,sbb aku xdgr kn),"yg ORI!!bkn slnn.." (prktn ori tu dicapitalkn sbb dy tekankn kt word tu)
so aku pun dgn muka seposen bg ic...eheh,ingt dy sorg je ley wat org tensen,aku pun boley,aku terer wat muka angker ni...hee...

then aku pegi pulak jbtn B,nk setel mnda lain lak...smpai2 je jumpa abg kt reception tu,gtau dy apa aku nk wat,dy pun send aku jumpa kakak sorg ni...(time tu aku prasan yg tgn kiri abg tu xsmpurna... no point here,sja nk ckp)
bila jumpa akak tu,aku pun bg la the dokumen tu kt dia...
akak tu ckp,"dik,byk ni...rasanya xley siap ari ni..."
kali ni aku wat muka dsperate lak,"yeke cik??alaa,sy esok dah kna anta,pkul 9am"
akak tu diam kejap,then dy ckp,"em,puan bz sket ari ni...tp akak try,adik dtg ambik ptg ni bley ?"
aku senyum, and dgn konfidennya,"ok2,pkul 4 sy dtg..."
and aku smpai blk kt jbtn B pkul 4.30!!
jumpa blk dgn abg tu,abg tu send blk aku kt kakak tu,n kakak tu pegi blk jumpa the so-called puan,and aku pun dpt la blk dokumen tu!!!lega seh...
and b4 aku blah,akak tu senyum kat aku-
"bila fly???"
"insyaAllah raya ke4."
akak tu wat muka xsanggup + terkejut,"then raya ktna???perlis jugak???"
aku sengih,smpat gak ye dy baca doc aku tu.."a'ah,tp mcm kna rushing jgak la"
akak tu angguk,"owh,xpe,smpat punya...bpe taun kt poland???5???"
"er,x...6.."aku gelak...
akak tu wat muka x sanggup lg..."owh,camtu good luck la ea.."
aku sengih besa2,"time kaseh byk2 akak..."
b4 kuar dr jbtn B tu,terpndg abg yg kt reception tu,dy senyum n angkt ibu jari tnda gudluck...aku senyum balik,angguk n trus blah...aah...

haa...tu la kisahnya...apa yg aku nk ckp kt sini,khidmat pelanggan...dua2 jbtn krjn,tp satu bley wat aku tayang muka angker,satu lg ley wat aku sengih lebar2...kan best kalo suma cm jbtn B...xdala lyn ikut pgkt ke apa...xda la bla tgk aku sorg2 yg bdn kecik tanak mmbesar ni dorang pndg remeh...huhu...

p/s1=xsaba tungu az n nabilah smpai..=P
p/s2=nk beli satu buku ni...anyone nk belikn utk aku x???hee~

menyengajakan kesusahan..

aku pun tatau;aku need somebody ke something rite now to throw out and spill....
tadi kt kdai,terpegang buku 'Aku Terima Nikahnya'..dah baca dah dulu alyaa punya,tp xtau laa npe td tb2 terpegang,and then terbukak kt this particular page-pasal 'Menyengajakan Kesusahan'- and then terbacalah kn...
and then terpikir,tu laa pe yg aku tgh alami...though bkn menyengajakan pun,tp terpaksa disengajakan...eheh~
sbb bapak aku jauh nun di perlis sana,sgala mnda aku kna wat sndiri skang...mcm x caya boley pegi sorg2 jbtn imigresen wat paspot,ulang-alik g klinik dah 3,4 kali wat medical checkup...and now looking forward utk pegi jbtn hasil dlm negeri plak...byknya laa kna setel..huu
which reminds me,nk berdikari,xperlu pun pegi jauh dari family,bkn nk tungu fly ke apa baru nk blaja berdiri atas kaki sndiri...akak n abg ada je kt sini,tp mmg dorang lepas aku wat sgala sndiri,dorang support dari segi dwet (eheh!),n dorang trust aku utk setelkn suma dgn cara aku...sis n bro,i do really appreciate that...which reminds me lagik,apa yg penting,(not krjasama ere ok)-our own will + courage..kan??
mcm x caya,btul ke aku ni dah nk fly???takat india ok lagik,tp ni nk merentas benua pegi poland nih,extra challenge lagi bila kna jd pioneer-as the 1st batch from malaysia being there-gosh,btn punya pasal la ni...rasa berat sgt beban nih *sigh*
tapi tapi tapi....with ALLAH's will,aku mesti akn dpt survive,6 years and coming back with an MD in hands-well,considering 2 extra years=8 years lorh,coz org kata study poland nih xsah kalo xrepeat,tp mtk jauh la kn...at least kt sana aku ada shida =P