Saturday, May 26, 2012

#199

You know, if you are an avid Hlovate's reader, you'll figure out that most of the characters in his/her novels, at least underwent two different phases of life. First, the past which was usually based on the character's interests. Second, the better present which was the character's choice.

I am not a fictional character, though I think at some point of my life I did undergo those two phases. InsyaAllah and alhamdulillah, I am a better me, but right now I am reminiscing my past. Listening to a playlist of Linkin Park's songs (in youtube because I already deleted most of the songs and my mp3 and mp4 are officially dead now). 

Linkin Park was my past. I threw it away years ago, since high school. I shouldn't be digging every single thing that was in the past, but since I missed my mother tonight, I did feel like reminiscing the past for a while before I shut the door to those jahiliyyah tightly. 

Guess that I am still not a good Muslim. I couldn't really leave those things behind. There were times, that out of the blue I'll be missing it. It's like missing a person you are forbidden to miss. You hate it when you missed him/her, but it isn't something you can control. 

"If you can't beat those pious people in doing good deeds, then beat those sinners in saying astaghfirullahalazhim." A quote that I stumbled upon today, which I rephrase because I couldn't remember how was the real sentence structure.

I wish you are a phone call away, Mother. But it looks like..you are a prayer away. :) Let's pretend you are still here. Will I miss you right now? Will I love you the way I love you? I guess I will get tired of your nagging, because whatever a daughter does that is out of the sight of her mother, is wrong. Mothers will always be typical and predictable. Haha.

Random and...Linkin Park's Somewhere I Belong is playing. Out. 

4 comments:

crazyhorsea said...

mcm mana nak tau tu kita punya pilihan based on apa? interest atau kehendak?

Mas Ayu said...

yunk..jgn sedih2 taw..aku sentiasa ade disisi ko kalo ko nak luahkan something...aku xdela pndai english nak bace smpai abes tapi aku tahu u miss ur mother rite now....yg pergi tetap pergi...mak ko mengharapkan kegembiraan anaknya sekarang...nak tgk anaknya bahagia dan berjaya...InsyaAllah..bnyakkan berdoa untuknya..moga kita sama2 bertemu di syurga..Amin..

syiftpm said...

"Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow. The important thing is to not stop questioning"
- Albert Enstein

sHieLa said...

subaili: istikharah? hehe.

mas: jazakillah sayang ^^

syafiq: :)