Dear Mr Whoever

For those who keep reading, thanks. For those who do not care, also thanks. I appreciated your constant visit here; especially Kak Ili. You seem so far away, yet you are always close to heart. I can assure you that even if noone reads my words, I am still going to write. I'm not a writer after all, who writes so that people can read, who writes by creating a whole imaginary world. I'm just an ordinary person, who lives her life and sometimes needs to throw out and spill. And here, she found the spaces, and she will keep writing about her life, her feelings and her thoughts. No-Matter-What.

Seharian tak jumpa Wani. Sangat rindu dia. Especially bila aku perlukan dia. Bukannya dia tak warning awal2 yg dia akan jarang online. Tapi still berharap yang she'll manage to connect to the Internet somehow. Sangat rindu my Phoebe. Whoever reads Hlovate's 5 Tahun 5 Bulan will know who is Yaya to Johanna. And Wani is my Yaya. She's my bestfriend. She's there in my ups and downs. And I tried my best to be there in her ups and downs too. We share secrets. We share dreams. We share histories. As if our life will always be intertwined. I need her as mush as she needs me. I just know.

What makes kita rapat dgn someone tu? Chemistry? Similarity? Comfortability? The three things have their own contributions in my relationship dgn Zatil. Again, if I am 5 Tahun 5 Bulan's Johanna, she's definitely going to be Jebat. Inspite of the different gender, Zatil sangat2 similar dgn Jebat. Kawan yg aku blh buat melalut. Kawan yg aku blh buat teman belajar. Kawan yg takkan pernah kisah dan sensitif utk dgr pandangan dan pendapat aku. Kawan yg aku blh refer to bila ada something in mind. Kawan yg seems not really connected, but somehow aku tahu yg she cares and loves me the way I am.

Lelaki dan perempuan. Boleh ke nak jadi kawan baik? Orang cakap one of them mesti takkan dapat keep on track. Mesti akan tersungkur jatuh. But do I care? Nasir buat aku rasa dihargai. Dia layan aku sebagaimana a friend should treat a friend. Dia buat aku rasa dilindungi. Dan aku takkan tipu diri aku sendiri. Aku sayang dia. Aku sayang dia macam aku sayang Zatil and Wani. Dia percaya aku. Dan aku takkan betray kepercayaan tu. Sungguh, aku rindu dia hari ni. Even sebenarnya dia lagi muda dari aku, but he's my Abg Shah. Gurindam Jiwa's Abg Shah. Abg Shah to his Ju'a.

Apple. Nama ni just suddenly crossed my mind. He used to be the one I shared things a lot. If I am Rooftop Rant's Trisy, then he is Jade. Of course not in the wonderwall way, but the ranting thing. Aku blh tunjuk dia emosi sebenar aku. Aku menangis simply sebab dia tengah sedih. Aku gelak simply sebab dia happy. Dia bagi aku definisi sebenar seorang sahabat. You will always want the best for your sahabat. You will always want your sahabat to stay happy. A sahabat akan dengar sahabat dia merepek, sahabat dia menangis, sahabat dia gelak, sahabat dia jerit. A sahabat akan support sahabat dia, akan give opinions kat sahabat dia. A sahabat will stay by her/his sahabat's side no matter what.

Wani, I love you the way I love a sister. You are a part of me. I'm going to be broken without you.

Zatil, walk with me. Hold my hands. Stay by my side. I need your strength and courage along the way.

Nasir, I'm going to stand by you. Come hell or high water. I will never walk away. I promise.

Apple, get used to my constant presence. Get used to my shouts and tears and laughters. I'm not going anywhere else.